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I slept most if not all thursday away. I missed my yoga class, and had enough phone calls to just about piss one off, when one is trying to sleep.
My real problem is folded. At times i take on too many ideas or too many projects, and have alot of unfinished business. I do this alot with friends and people I meet.. I try to have a relationship with everyone, and I end up finding myself alone in a lake, in a boat.... I have made this analogy before with my shrink, that I try to catch all the fish in the sea at once, and end up with an empty net. It's one of my faults, and I am not sure how to solve it. Along those s ame lines I let little things knaw at my bones untill I get so worked up, and blow things so out of proportion that alot of my time is wasted. I did that yesterday with the incident I had with Pam. I felt that I was becomeing "manic" and animated... and felt that others preceived that as to be a "bad thing". I look at it, as being my personality, and something I don't have to change just to fit in with everyone else. And yet, in the end, whose labeled as the freak, the outcast... ya rock the boat, ya keep rockin the boat, and soon will find yourself sinking in the ocean.
Its the same with the problem I have with suits. Men in suits who think they are the end all be all of medicine... people, women included who sit in offices all day, trying to manage the sheep in the herd, the peons, the working class--what changes can they make (even if not valid or supported), and the hazy cloud of faulse reality they live in. One of the main reasons why I enjoy my bedside nursing, why I am glad to be where I am at.. on the low end of the food chain.
My real problem is folded. At times i take on too many ideas or too many projects, and have alot of unfinished business. I do this alot with friends and people I meet.. I try to have a relationship with everyone, and I end up finding myself alone in a lake, in a boat.... I have made this analogy before with my shrink, that I try to catch all the fish in the sea at once, and end up with an empty net. It's one of my faults, and I am not sure how to solve it. Along those s ame lines I let little things knaw at my bones untill I get so worked up, and blow things so out of proportion that alot of my time is wasted. I did that yesterday with the incident I had with Pam. I felt that I was becomeing "manic" and animated... and felt that others preceived that as to be a "bad thing". I look at it, as being my personality, and something I don't have to change just to fit in with everyone else. And yet, in the end, whose labeled as the freak, the outcast... ya rock the boat, ya keep rockin the boat, and soon will find yourself sinking in the ocean.
Its the same with the problem I have with suits. Men in suits who think they are the end all be all of medicine... people, women included who sit in offices all day, trying to manage the sheep in the herd, the peons, the working class--what changes can they make (even if not valid or supported), and the hazy cloud of faulse reality they live in. One of the main reasons why I enjoy my bedside nursing, why I am glad to be where I am at.. on the low end of the food chain.