The Thirteen Tales

I can't help but start singing "Reunion" by the indigo girls. Even with a headache, its running through my mind.

our five year reunion wasn't bad. The people who showed basically said "I don't care for my life right now, but I am going to make it better". Which was basically where we were in our lives, none of us were established, most just got out of college or were still in, and that o.k.

When auryn24, stated to be ready for a whirlwind of emotions, I didn't 100% believe her until tonight. I'm still riding the rollercoaster.

The problem being is last night, the small group of us that went to the bars (our big dinner wasn't untill tonight), seemed to be established (lack of a better word to be discussed later), and happy. We have all changed since H.s. but remained friends, and were "adults".

That all changed tonight after the dinner. The dinner was quaint (about 30 out of 150), and I got compliments from people on my speaking. Which was good. Downtown, the "townies" came out, in mass numbers. I just dont' feel at age 30, you should A) act like you did in H.S., B), be a drunken stupor sloppy mess (like falling down on your ass at a bar, C) be a skank.

The same people who were a clique in H.S. still hang out, live near by (within an hour drive), and have not changed the same. The bar was playing mid 1980's music (stuff concidered old by the class of 1995), and these "skanks" were dancing to it.

Maybe I'm being to harsh. If they had the cash to get sloppy drunk before 10:00 p.m. downtown, they could of made an appearance at the dinner. To me, there was No excuse to show up downtown, when you KNOW the dinner was going on, and be sloppy drunk.

What are they hiding behind, what's there damage, can't they move on?

The more I thought about it, the more it came to me.

Very simply.

We have GROWN up.

The select few have GROWN up, and live with our differences. The others are hung up on high school bullshit, and may never take that next stepp. Its sad.

Definately felt out of place, (I was in a suit), in some red neck bar, that i am not used to.

Btw: I classmate of mine (male) frenched kissed me. At it seemed alright 8-)

Photos to follow in the am.!

Had a busy night at work last night, and bowed out early to meet up with my shrink apt. It must of been fate that I got in within 24 hours, as usually Karla is BOOKED solid for months.

Basically lost it in her office. Pretty much came undone. And I am not sure why I didn't see it before, but what she said made so much sense and she put everything in perspective. Kevin is maninuplitive (spelling?), controlling, and has been pushing my buttons for awhile. He makes me feel guilty, I give in, and it is just a never ending cycle. I don't have to justify my actions to anyone (havn't I been saying this for awhile), but I havn't been listening to well to myself.

I'm at my ropes end. If he tries to contact me any more (he hasn't today), I'm going to tell him straight out, He can NOT call me, or come to my property. Doing so will result in calling the cops, and I will get a restraining order against him. I'll have to be strong, and take action on my word. It has come to that. No phone calls, nothing. If he tries to contact me, I'm getting the police involved.

Feeling better about the situation. Dremt that I was with Sandra Bernhard at her apt getting ready for the oscars. Wierd.

I have my 10 year class reunion this weekend, which means that I am leaving town again tomarrow. My oil needs to be changed in the car, I havn't eaten much this week, and not sure if I am ready to face the ghosts of my past.......

**update** Let the games begin. Everything Karla said today makes SO much sense. Kevin just emailed me, even though he said he would leave me alone.

I will NOT email him back, call him, or contact him.