7 January 2004

"Mirrors hurt sometimes, don't they"


CUE MOVIE: Broken Hearts Club

Met up with Jacob to work out last night. What an adventure. Jacob shows up in a designer work outfit-matching of course, down to the shoes, outfit, and looks damn good..thinner that I am, he is as big as my thigh, I am the one getting shit for being anorexic.. honey child, please. Anyone who shows up for a work out with a very nice, (and I am sure spendy) kenneth cole watch.. well whose says being a label whore is out, or in.. or whatever... BUT let it be known, Mr. Jacob knew how to use the equipment, and wasn't that bad of a workout partner. He showed me alot about the equipment, and gave me his secrete (the XY survival guide)(my copy is being sent as we speak from amazon.com). It felt right out of the movie Broken Hearts Club. A couple of gay guys working out.. and the eye candy... I mean.. YUM.... everyone trying to be buff, and yet also trying to stay in fit, and it is everyone out for themselves..I think when it comes down to it, we are all trying to become fit, or thinner, or muscular.. or in shape... and if that doens't give us something in common.. I don't know what will... and I am pretty happy that I didn't cruise the shower/locker room.. why bother.. why causing sparks, if there is no fire...

The other night, I hooked up. Not proud of myself-and yet for everything there is a reason. The "kid", a H.S. Senior- reminded me of when I was his age trying figure "everything" out. Sneaking out of the house to hook up, sneaking out of the house to taste gay life-even if was remote as going to a dance, a support group... and really not knowing anything, and yet having the feeling that I know something. It was a constant mirror for me, and that was really powerful.

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Kevin

May 2025

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