Of Death and Dying

[thirteenrocks]

Although a fraction of this has been posted in cynical_nurse, I rather explore my rational in my own words....

A pt has been on our floor for at least week, with the family up in arms weather or not he should be made comfort care (i.e. all support withdrawn and let nature take its course). Tonight there were at least 20 people in the room, hovering over the pt. The ages ranged from 8-mid 60's (rough estimate). Finally I opened up my trap, and said something to the nurse caring for this pt.

20 people in one room, is 20 too many in my book. Not only was the room full, they were starting to congregate in the hallway, near the nurses station. The conversations they were having could be heard by anyone at the desk, and since I was charting on the computer, I heard EVERYTHING.

Not only were the said family members in the hallway, they were in the family lounge and the nearby hallway. SO much, that when a cart with a pt on it came down, it was hard to get the pt down because there were family members all over. As the night progressed, they started to cry, and was filling the hallway with tears and more bodies.

I have some issues with this situation:

1) If the family is going to discuss care measures, its not appropriate to discuss the issues right over the pt, when hearing is the last sense to go.

2) Children under the age of 8, are not legally bound to make decisions concerning care of pt family member (in this case, there parents were, and the other 20 adults. Do the children want to remember grandpa hooked up to tubes, or spending hours in the hospital...

The care decisions can be made outside the room. The children (the 11 y.o. ) can stay at home. Having 20 peole in the room is 20 too many. what about a rotation sched. What about taking shifts....

It bothers me....

Comments

[oldhalloween.livejournal.com]

You are right. Shut up and make visits in small groups. Save the group cattle call for Denny's.

[oldhalloween.livejournal.com]

oh..as for the kid..I was very annoyed at age 10 to be part of the entire process of my grandfathers last month on earth.....except when he passed in the hospital. It was wonderful, even with my annoying family, to have 3 generations go through the dying process. To not let me be present for the actual death or funeral was an abrupt cut off of the natural process. To go from a time where children were part of the laying out of the body in the home to no access is not healthy IMHO. Obviously if the 11 yr old has never been around a death then careful discussion and follow as part of the grieving process is important.

[thirteenrocks.livejournal.com]

Lovin you! My thoughts exactly!

[gaboi74.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you. That is just way too many and a rotation schedule should have been instituted right away. And parents need not bring their children to the hospital. Not only would it be devastating to them seeing their family member with all sorts of tubes coming out, but they just do not need to be there. Kids will be curious and just get all in the way.

[thirteenrocks.livejournal.com]

I agree in all situations kids do not belong in the hospital, running around, and causing havock. This isn't a playground people!

[morzsa.livejournal.com]

That's true, but you know, not seeing my kids for weeks or in one case months because they are kids really did no good to any of us.

[thespian15.livejournal.com]

There are definitely times when kids should be allowed to visit. :)

[thirteenrocks.livejournal.com]

Agree...and times when they shouldn't be.

[thespian15.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with you on the whole numbers thing. I don't understand the whole death watch scenerio that goes on. And there should be a limit to the numbers of people in a room. Can you say fire marshall? At least your rooms are bigger than ours here. Can you imagine 20 people in one of our rooms? :o
Hugs, Jon

[thirteenrocks.livejournal.com]

I went off the handle at work, because I just thought the death watch, and having ALL those people were just becoming overwelming. They were talking at the desk, clogging the hallway, when I was trying to work. They are NOT the only ones there.

I also felt that it should of been a "Immediate" family decision and not a HUGE GROUP of friends decision, and a decision that could of been made outside the hospital and not over the bedside.

I hate to say this, but you know me, I will--I hope he is gone by tomarrow.