Doing Time on Rodeo Drive part II

Kim called about 915 p.m. cst, asking if I would come in. "I'll put you in a nice 1 to 1". She sounded desperate. I caved. Lord knows the extra cash would come in handy, and my thought was "another night sitting watching someone sleep-and watching movies", which incidently, I'd be doing at home anyway.

However, I didn't sleep Monday night, came into work for a 4 hour meeting, and didn't sleep much in the afternoon (off and on). I also technically havn't eaten anything in the past 24 hours, unless ice-cream cookie sandwhichs, some pretzels and a pack of ciggarettes count as a meal. For desert, about 1/2 of pot of coffee. I can always sleep when I'm dead-actually I'll sleep all day Wednesday.

Kim.
( All about Kim )

And when I was pulling into the parking garage, I saw 2 license plates on SUV's/Minivans that clog up the parking stalls one right after another. One of course had a 13 amid the other letters and numbers. The other was something like 583-ALN. I took it as a sign.

Have to and Have Not

A plastic fork wouldn't have any difficulty stabing through this body-much like a sharp steak knife taking battle with a slab of prime-rib. I'm done. Over Done. I have no more to give. The gas tank will be empty soon. However, I did manage to eat a subway sandwhich today. The first "real" meal in about 3 days.

In retrospect, I shouldn't of picked up the overtime last night. Got home and slept all day, to come back into another fine mess of shit. There's dishes to wash, laundry to fold, a yard to rake, and a movie to watch. All of which will have to wait.

Have to. Have to do this and that because I try to avoid the consequence of others being upset, or any other consequences: i.e. pay the bills on time, or face the power on my house being shut of. That sort of thing.

Have to drive to Millwaulkee to help my brother move, have to get cat food, have to mail swaps out, have to. Have. To. Have to get my dad a birthday card, have to go to my sister's child drowning (aka baptism) next weekend. Have to.

What does Kevin want? I want someone to help take a couch to the dump. I want Allan in my arms, fall asleep listening to the rain pound the windows, and Max stealing the sheets, I want a home-made HOT cooked meal of garden fresh salad with mushrooms, potatoe leak soup with home-made fresh bread with steam rising out of it when you break it, lobster-tail fresh caught, and a big fat bowl of naughty creme broulee with a dollup of whip-cream on top, served with a glass of oak barrelled red wine. I want peace and a hard cock.

My sister hasn't called me back. Was hoping she give me the "get out of jail" card for next weekend. Yes, I should go to the drowning. Unless I'm working, I go to the family events, even though I rather not. And for sure HELL, NOT going to make a huge weekend out of it either. Drive up Saterday mid-morning, stay over (somewhere) drive back on Sunday. Period. I'm thinking of getting the baby a velvet painting of Jesus. Pure and utter Tack-A-Rama. They have me on defult. Would it be wrong it I just skipped out. I'm not a god-parent, I don't practice as a Catholic.

Mentioned to Allan about flying out for part of the weekend next week. Found a cheap flight. Although I agree with him, the fast pace of the time spent, in the long term wouldn't be the greatest of situations..need to plan a much longer engagement when we can both truely enjoy each other. And talking him tonight from Toronto, hearing about spending time surfing you-tube, enjoying the weather-was the top of the line-best thing of the day. I'll take that.

Tomarrow is going to be a good day. Keep reminding yourself that, cause I sure don't believe it. IF, i'm lucky, I'll be able to squeeze four hours of sleep. J wants to pick up her surplies for Fridays holiday (4/20/07). Should plan on leaving Rochester by 1400, to put me in millwaulkee by 1700, avoiding interstate traffic, and rush-hour in Millwaulkee.

Have a collection of cd's to jam out with: Tori Amos, 10,000 maniacs, maybe some trance, ooh peter gabriel would be Fucking fantastic. I won't need to pack for Millwaulkee, take a toothbrush. I'll go Egyptian.

I know. I need to take time out for myself. I need to unplugg the phones, and spend time for myself. I just don't see that happeneing any time soon.