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And so we begin
26 February 2006 21:21There is not enough energy within this shell, nor the time to give justice to the thoughts and actions of the past 48 hours.
And so we begin:
Being raised in a small South West Wisconsin College town, known for a idle enginering school and once home of the Chicago Bears summer training camp, my childhood was seen as somewhat sheltered than most. Although though opportunity, I learned to break the glass and explore/learn about the world around me (You expand your horrizons your way, I'll expand them mine), the town itself has not changed in the pass few years. Its the same sleepy college town that never is effected by any outside forces.
The town newspaper seldom ran stories of interest-of real interest besides heterosexual marriages, pie bakeoffs and the latest sport report. Shy of distruption, photos of anyone in a traditional amercian baseballcap were not printed-regardless, not printed.
Natives of the area, my nuclear family represents somewhat a slice of the type of people who inhabit what once was a safe haven for bag-a-bons, and now a safe haven for those to set in his or her ways, to understand quite frankly, the world is going to hell, and there is nothing they are going to be able to do about it.
So play your bridge, gossip around town, deny yourself culture, thoughts of crime or drugs run rampid, and heaven forbid, aids lies within the city limits. Cause frankly I don't give a damn anymore!
Not to mention I was a believer that dear old mom and dad were not only followers but ring leaders in the concept that all good girls and boys don't stray from the path. That children should be seen and not hood, and "good girls and boys" just don't do that.
Well enter me. The outcast. The black sheep. The unwanted child. The oops. The one who not only strayed from the path, but continued to push the boundries, cause havock, oh, and there was that also unfortunate hit-and-run accident that I ooops failed to tell them about....
Even when they are pushing 60 and 63, and I about 1/2 of that-they still continue to impress me that although a facade, they know more of what is going on then what they lead on to.
Not only did Mother catch the "snow" reference at the FABULOUSE LIVE broadway Rent Performance (Yes, I saw it LIVE, and YES it blew me away), but caught the sexual induendo's, as well. Which of course led to an interesting conversation to what the other people of Platteville thought of the performance (good guess-alot of them are trying to figure out what the fuck happeend), which led to the unknown fact that they both made apoint to travel and view "Brokeback mountain" without telling anyone, and LOVED it, in fact tonight showed more compassion/respect to the homosexual population than ever thought imaginable, not only respect but informing that other members of the extended family-are not that accepting.
AND I was such a chicken shit about the whole thing. What a perfect time to exhume the dead corpse of mistakes gone pass, of a time where I didn't have the self-esteem to stand up for myself, to revist the pass and say quite breifly......
...... you understand, I get down on my banana republican knees (only thing I have republician-just because I love the fabric), and suck dick, that I'm gay, its o.k. and you support me.
For 11 years ago, it was straight to shrink wrap with me. The fear that I was going to catch AiDS. Your gay, you get aids, you die. The conversation with mom that good boys don't stray from the tracks, and I want to be a good boy don't I, cause I got alot of stuff going for me, and good boys go to heaven, and I should follow jesus...
JESUS...
But I didn't. But I didn't. But I didn't.
Although quite frankly, its a menute point, don't cha think?!?!
And not only that, what's confusing is there over excitement about traveling with there poor single struggling son, to europe for 2-2 1/2 weeks and the issue they are more excited than when Porkchop was born. which is a mind fuck, if ever there was....
and yet tonight I'm sleeping in yet another bed, in another town, in another state.
and the idea of traveling in MSP and knowing that YES I have slept there....in that house, for that one night..
that I was there..
that truth lies in idenity, that the power play goes on, and we may add a verse..
what will your verse be....
I believe I just added mine...
and so now we end.
And so we begin:
Being raised in a small South West Wisconsin College town, known for a idle enginering school and once home of the Chicago Bears summer training camp, my childhood was seen as somewhat sheltered than most. Although though opportunity, I learned to break the glass and explore/learn about the world around me (You expand your horrizons your way, I'll expand them mine), the town itself has not changed in the pass few years. Its the same sleepy college town that never is effected by any outside forces.
The town newspaper seldom ran stories of interest-of real interest besides heterosexual marriages, pie bakeoffs and the latest sport report. Shy of distruption, photos of anyone in a traditional amercian baseballcap were not printed-regardless, not printed.
Natives of the area, my nuclear family represents somewhat a slice of the type of people who inhabit what once was a safe haven for bag-a-bons, and now a safe haven for those to set in his or her ways, to understand quite frankly, the world is going to hell, and there is nothing they are going to be able to do about it.
So play your bridge, gossip around town, deny yourself culture, thoughts of crime or drugs run rampid, and heaven forbid, aids lies within the city limits. Cause frankly I don't give a damn anymore!
Not to mention I was a believer that dear old mom and dad were not only followers but ring leaders in the concept that all good girls and boys don't stray from the path. That children should be seen and not hood, and "good girls and boys" just don't do that.
Well enter me. The outcast. The black sheep. The unwanted child. The oops. The one who not only strayed from the path, but continued to push the boundries, cause havock, oh, and there was that also unfortunate hit-and-run accident that I ooops failed to tell them about....
Even when they are pushing 60 and 63, and I about 1/2 of that-they still continue to impress me that although a facade, they know more of what is going on then what they lead on to.
Not only did Mother catch the "snow" reference at the FABULOUSE LIVE broadway Rent Performance (Yes, I saw it LIVE, and YES it blew me away), but caught the sexual induendo's, as well. Which of course led to an interesting conversation to what the other people of Platteville thought of the performance (good guess-alot of them are trying to figure out what the fuck happeend), which led to the unknown fact that they both made apoint to travel and view "Brokeback mountain" without telling anyone, and LOVED it, in fact tonight showed more compassion/respect to the homosexual population than ever thought imaginable, not only respect but informing that other members of the extended family-are not that accepting.
AND I was such a chicken shit about the whole thing. What a perfect time to exhume the dead corpse of mistakes gone pass, of a time where I didn't have the self-esteem to stand up for myself, to revist the pass and say quite breifly......
...... you understand, I get down on my banana republican knees (only thing I have republician-just because I love the fabric), and suck dick, that I'm gay, its o.k. and you support me.
For 11 years ago, it was straight to shrink wrap with me. The fear that I was going to catch AiDS. Your gay, you get aids, you die. The conversation with mom that good boys don't stray from the tracks, and I want to be a good boy don't I, cause I got alot of stuff going for me, and good boys go to heaven, and I should follow jesus...
JESUS...
But I didn't. But I didn't. But I didn't.
Although quite frankly, its a menute point, don't cha think?!?!
And not only that, what's confusing is there over excitement about traveling with there poor single struggling son, to europe for 2-2 1/2 weeks and the issue they are more excited than when Porkchop was born. which is a mind fuck, if ever there was....
and yet tonight I'm sleeping in yet another bed, in another town, in another state.
and the idea of traveling in MSP and knowing that YES I have slept there....in that house, for that one night..
that I was there..
that truth lies in idenity, that the power play goes on, and we may add a verse..
what will your verse be....
I believe I just added mine...
and so now we end.