Current State of Affairs

Had a busy night at work last night, and bowed out early to meet up with my shrink apt. It must of been fate that I got in within 24 hours, as usually Karla is BOOKED solid for months.

Basically lost it in her office. Pretty much came undone. And I am not sure why I didn't see it before, but what she said made so much sense and she put everything in perspective. Kevin is maninuplitive (spelling?), controlling, and has been pushing my buttons for awhile. He makes me feel guilty, I give in, and it is just a never ending cycle. I don't have to justify my actions to anyone (havn't I been saying this for awhile), but I havn't been listening to well to myself.

I'm at my ropes end. If he tries to contact me any more (he hasn't today), I'm going to tell him straight out, He can NOT call me, or come to my property. Doing so will result in calling the cops, and I will get a restraining order against him. I'll have to be strong, and take action on my word. It has come to that. No phone calls, nothing. If he tries to contact me, I'm getting the police involved.

Feeling better about the situation. Dremt that I was with Sandra Bernhard at her apt getting ready for the oscars. Wierd.

I have my 10 year class reunion this weekend, which means that I am leaving town again tomarrow. My oil needs to be changed in the car, I havn't eaten much this week, and not sure if I am ready to face the ghosts of my past.......

**update** Let the games begin. Everything Karla said today makes SO much sense. Kevin just emailed me, even though he said he would leave me alone.

I will NOT email him back, call him, or contact him.