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Pieces of you
27 February 2005 00:51The nights are lingering on, one right after another.
Knee deep in thoughts. Thoughts of the past, myself, others, direction without a compass.
Patrick called tonight. He wanted to know what was new..honestly nothing. Life is stagnet right now, and that is fine with me. He was very excited and hyper. Throwing sexual induendo's around like words without meaning. For someone who is sexually ambiguent he sure knows how to push buttons. He reminds me of "Mark" from the broadway show "Rent" ("Mark is in love with his work, Mark hides in his work"), For someone my age, he surely has spent his life under the confindes of a pen and textbook: Masters in Physiology, Bachelors in Biology, Chemistery, Nursing, currenly working on his nurse anethisist, then his PHD. A part of me, wishes he is inflicted with a life altering health issue. Something, anything, to stop him in his steps-- he's always moving so fast, there seems to no end. He says its how he is trying to suck as much out of life he can wring out----I feel he is crazy, moving one way towards an ulcer, and once he is done, what is going to have; a bunch of initials latched on to his nametag, a stuffy career empty as his tailored suit pockets? A politcal facade relationship with coroporate america?
I didn't appreciate his sexual induendo's. I'm not some pawn to be kicked around while you try to make up your mind to your next move. This isn't a chess tournament, I'm not a consolation prize. I'm not one to be fucked with.
I've started back on the Zoloft. 100mg/day. Something needed to give, and maybe its helping, maybe its not. I'm feeling better-After being ill last weekend, slowly getting back into the swing of things. Still trying out this new skin, and going from there--
Went to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
imyaj's concert tonight. Glad I went. Saw a one night stand there, that kind of brought things to a head...specially since I talked to another one nighter the other night, who couldn't even remember my name, glad I was that memorable! Whatever. What. The. Fuck. Ever.
Knee deep in thoughts. Thoughts of the past, myself, others, direction without a compass.
Patrick called tonight. He wanted to know what was new..honestly nothing. Life is stagnet right now, and that is fine with me. He was very excited and hyper. Throwing sexual induendo's around like words without meaning. For someone who is sexually ambiguent he sure knows how to push buttons. He reminds me of "Mark" from the broadway show "Rent" ("Mark is in love with his work, Mark hides in his work"), For someone my age, he surely has spent his life under the confindes of a pen and textbook: Masters in Physiology, Bachelors in Biology, Chemistery, Nursing, currenly working on his nurse anethisist, then his PHD. A part of me, wishes he is inflicted with a life altering health issue. Something, anything, to stop him in his steps-- he's always moving so fast, there seems to no end. He says its how he is trying to suck as much out of life he can wring out----I feel he is crazy, moving one way towards an ulcer, and once he is done, what is going to have; a bunch of initials latched on to his nametag, a stuffy career empty as his tailored suit pockets? A politcal facade relationship with coroporate america?
I didn't appreciate his sexual induendo's. I'm not some pawn to be kicked around while you try to make up your mind to your next move. This isn't a chess tournament, I'm not a consolation prize. I'm not one to be fucked with.
I've started back on the Zoloft. 100mg/day. Something needed to give, and maybe its helping, maybe its not. I'm feeling better-After being ill last weekend, slowly getting back into the swing of things. Still trying out this new skin, and going from there--
Went to
imyaj's concert tonight. Glad I went. Saw a one night stand there, that kind of brought things to a head...specially since I talked to another one nighter the other night, who couldn't even remember my name, glad I was that memorable! Whatever. What. The. Fuck. Ever.