Monday Misc

After Joshua and I met up, and after the fireworks was over, we headed out of the massive crowd with his folks and walked back to an obscure metro station that wasn't packed. I felt bad that Tim was left out but strongly felt that I needed to grasp life and explore we went to the china town and then to the metro. Left tim and josh mom said-"great, we go out wish Joshua and joshua hooks up. Went back to his studi and then to his buddy shanes house-which was very much out of torch song trilogy. Then we went back to his pad, and snogged and fell alsleep in his bed-which was comforting, and peaceful. I could of stayed there for hours, but left to catch the metro back to where I was staying. Got in, and woke tim up (not on purpose) who proceded to give me 20 questions, all which I admit I advoided or lied about. I just felt that I shouldn't add any fuel to any fire that might be starting, and that he really didn't need to know what my personal life consisted of, or lack there of as well he didn't really need to know.

The next day-saterday was busy. we got up, ate at a cute little french cafe, and then hit the town and did everything. Played phone tage with Joshua, and he and I ended up meeting up again-although I wanted to have dinner with him and his folks-to score points with, if nothing else, it didn't happen. I met up with him at his apt, and then we went to the "Cobolt" bar near his apt. The bar was nice..the first floor was like a huge house and comforting, and upstairs was a dance floor. I felt upstairs I was in an episode of QAF. The other guys were talking, and dishing everyone else, and with the 1/2 naked bartenders, and boys dancing on the box, I felt strongly that it was just this all high and mightly fake conversation, seen and not heard sort of deal. It was odd...kind of sort of. After the bar, I headed back to the metro, and called it a night. Tim was sure I wasn't going to come home in the a.m. but I did. I talked to Joshua prior to leaving D.C. but nothing more.....

I really strongly feel that I was taken advantage of. That I was just another notch on his bedpost (although we didn't have sex), and he already has moved on, and forgott who I am. It's shit like this in the gay community that really pisses me off. Why are men afraid of commitment, and overerly concerned about who they are going to search-destroy and conquer next. I just don't get it.

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The dream

Here-for what it is worth, is my analised dream:

Room 9750-had the HIV + federal medical inmate in it.
Room 9760 Had the guy who wanted to order the pizza in it
Jen Eldine: Nurse on the floor-worked with before
Dr. Ecker: Jewish neurosurgeon and somewhat a friend
Beard: the SOB in 9728 had a beard
Order a pizza: Acutall request by the guy in 9760
drain blood from it: the guy in 9750 had a lumbar drain we were draining
glove on the right: we had been talking about universal precauctions the night before
Isolation gowns: 9750 was in isolation
Karla: my therapist
Started to cry: fear of HIV infectioni
Brian Paris: been thinking about him alot, plus he called during my napping
worry: I worry about everything these days
jump out of room 6: have thought about this
snow bank: cold fear-release

any other analisis?

The accident

As a nurse, your job doesn't end once you punch out or leave the health care facility. You are a nurse 24/7 weather you like it or not. Thus held true yesterday.

Mom and i were comming back from camping, and were on a country road in rual Wisconsin. I had my nose in Harry Potter 5, trying to finish it. She was driving. She said "there had been just an accident." I looked up, and the car in front of us, had just been involved in an accident with another car. I told her to PULL OVER, and I got out with me mobile in hand. Running in flip-flops, I dialed 911 as I am running to the scene. The first car, was o.k. in my 4 second assessment. Both occupents had gotten out. The guy in the other car was still belted in. I got there, and he was not really talking and checked for a pulse while I had him try to talk to me. He talked (which means OPEN AIRWAY and GAS EXCHANGE-ROCK ON!), but as a neuro nurse, I knew that he could have a cervical fracture. SO I threw the phone to another person at the sceene and told them to talk to 911. I informed him that I was a nurse, and that he was under no cirmstance able to move his neck. I held it, while the emt's were soon to arrive. A 54 y.o. male with nka. He had no other injuries known to me. His airbag if he had one, was not diployed.

The paramedics came, and as promised had a nice c-colar that we slapped on the dude. I got out of the scene. The police officer came up and informed the other lady's that the dude was drinking and wasn't being coroperative. I didn't think he needed to give them that information at all. In fact, that wasn't koosher with me.

After giving my name and number we left. I felt sick, in fact, I wanted to throw up. Adrenaline was pumping.

Call me concided, but I wanted my mom to feel proud of me. I wanted recognition for a job well done. I knew that I did the right thing. I guess I just want a gold star sticker that says "GOOD JOB" slapped on my shirt.

Is that being concided? Or do I always have to aplaude myself?