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thirteenrocksI have a shrink apt tommarow at 11:00 a.m.
I havn't seen her since Feb, and was surprised that when I called, I got an apt so early. Usually she is booked solid for months upon months on end. However, I have an apt, and lord knows i could use it...with everything going on recently, well just say an hour won't be enough.
I've noticed patterns in my life. How sometimes I do things that I think others want me to do, and yet play this mind game with myself. I've noticed it with Mr. Kim-the dancer. Tomarrow I am going to tell him that it is not going to work out. I just don't think it is a correct path for me to go down. Specially since, well I don't care for his motives, although he has a killer personality. And if he gets mad, he gets mad. I am not going to jump over backwards for someone. I am done with that BS.
Ran into Mike on line. why he hasn't called me yet (he said he would) is a mystery.
Had an interesting time with mom and dad. Besides the "theater" camp incident, I have never publicly talked about my homosexuality with them. However lately with the case of incidences, it appears that it is o.k. with them. Case in point:
1) John visited my grandfathers furneral, and they were so accepting of him, and knew he was not a "friend", Friend, but more than that.
2) Knew about Kelly's lesbain wedding, and asked if her partner and her would be in plattevile, and her wife, ect.
3) Playboys. My mom gave my brother my dad's old playboys. Why she didn't give them to me, is a key, that maybe they know.
4) My mom woke me up on the day I left and said that they loved me, will always be here, and that i can tell them anything I would want to. It was an invitation to open up.
When the time comes, I know I will be comfortable bringing my boyfriend home to meet my folks. And in turn, they will be accepting. This is my world, and I am the world leader pretend.
What else? What else to tell my shrink tomarrow? The fact that I threw alway all my Kara memorablia. The fact that I am getting on with my life? THe fact that i havn't taken my zoloft on a regular basis. The fact that I am still alive.
On a side note, I have been getting e-mails from a realtor in Teaxas.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bparis hasn't sent them. Is god telling me something.
God are you there? It's me, Kevin
I havn't seen her since Feb, and was surprised that when I called, I got an apt so early. Usually she is booked solid for months upon months on end. However, I have an apt, and lord knows i could use it...with everything going on recently, well just say an hour won't be enough.
I've noticed patterns in my life. How sometimes I do things that I think others want me to do, and yet play this mind game with myself. I've noticed it with Mr. Kim-the dancer. Tomarrow I am going to tell him that it is not going to work out. I just don't think it is a correct path for me to go down. Specially since, well I don't care for his motives, although he has a killer personality. And if he gets mad, he gets mad. I am not going to jump over backwards for someone. I am done with that BS.
Ran into Mike on line. why he hasn't called me yet (he said he would) is a mystery.
Had an interesting time with mom and dad. Besides the "theater" camp incident, I have never publicly talked about my homosexuality with them. However lately with the case of incidences, it appears that it is o.k. with them. Case in point:
1) John visited my grandfathers furneral, and they were so accepting of him, and knew he was not a "friend", Friend, but more than that.
2) Knew about Kelly's lesbain wedding, and asked if her partner and her would be in plattevile, and her wife, ect.
3) Playboys. My mom gave my brother my dad's old playboys. Why she didn't give them to me, is a key, that maybe they know.
4) My mom woke me up on the day I left and said that they loved me, will always be here, and that i can tell them anything I would want to. It was an invitation to open up.
When the time comes, I know I will be comfortable bringing my boyfriend home to meet my folks. And in turn, they will be accepting. This is my world, and I am the world leader pretend.
What else? What else to tell my shrink tomarrow? The fact that I threw alway all my Kara memorablia. The fact that I am getting on with my life? THe fact that i havn't taken my zoloft on a regular basis. The fact that I am still alive.
On a side note, I have been getting e-mails from a realtor in Teaxas.
bparis hasn't sent them. Is god telling me something.God are you there? It's me, Kevin