Comming up for air
23 April 2008 03:59![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thirteenrocksThe week isn't shaping up as expected.
I fucked up again. This time missing a middle of the night work meeting regarding new IV pumps. There will be others. I'm more pissed at myself for missing it. Maybe I'm just being hard.
I don't feel focused. I definately don't feel centered. Which I find to be odd.
Monday I refinanced my bungalow on a thirty year mortgage. Got stuck paying Mortgage Insurance, saved some money and locked into a decent and respectable rate. I've made the decision, if a decision had to be made, that for now, Rochester will remain home-I have no desire to uproot. There is no navigational pull except here.
I figure as long as I keep my ass covered and my nose semi-clean, my nursing position remains pretty golden. Time will tell if this is true, time will also be a factor in management, and other individuals who, according to my view point need to "leave". Simply need to put my time in.
I was asked recently the million dollar question: "Why are you single ?". I find it to be more complex than a simple answer. My social life and interactions with individuals is a miriad of colors, shapes, and sizes. I asked Eric if I had changed over the years. He replied yes. I'm more mature than my age, and am not willing to settle for second best. I'm too picky, and too much of an individual to settle for any less. I don't deal well with bullshit.
Eric made the comment that with Allan, that he didn't see the possibilities, and put alot more into it, than what possibly was required. OF course there are other factors that Allan and I had discussed, which will remain just between us.
I'm reading the book "Into the woods", which retells the tale of two unconditioned hikers taking on the Appaliachian Trail (The AT). The AT is something that I would be interested in tackling, a 2,000 mile hike from Georgia into Maine. The trip mirrors my experience in Europe and mimics the camping experience of the Rad Fae's. The problem comes into getting the minimum of three months off from work to go get lost in the woods.
I'm in deperate need for another one of Kevin's crazy adventures. I'm hoping to pull of a small stint to Athens, GA for a weekend romp. I need to look into that today, among other things of agenda. There is a pile of papers to sort through.
Recently, four different individuals made the comment that there appears something wrong. That I am not my regular punchy energetic self. The concerns are noted, and respected. And when individuals speak frankly about the viewpoint of one-self there is always red-flags that are thrown up in the air. I'm banking on too much swirling on in my head, and too much going on. I may have to concider (which I am) shaving the fat off of the spring pig. Maybe I just need a few days to regroup, and lay in bed.
I meet with my therapist, Karla next week. WHOOT WHOOT! And I'm planning on running up to the cities to spend some quality time with some of the RAD Fae's.
I'm planning with all good intentions of making Yoga tonight, and tomarrow morning. Four hours of yoga with Dawn will help in focusing. Tomarrow I'll take I-35 to the godparents, stoping in Owatonna at the Salvation Army for some retail therapy. This trip will be good. I'm banking on it. ANd if not-cest la vie.
I fucked up again. This time missing a middle of the night work meeting regarding new IV pumps. There will be others. I'm more pissed at myself for missing it. Maybe I'm just being hard.
I don't feel focused. I definately don't feel centered. Which I find to be odd.
Monday I refinanced my bungalow on a thirty year mortgage. Got stuck paying Mortgage Insurance, saved some money and locked into a decent and respectable rate. I've made the decision, if a decision had to be made, that for now, Rochester will remain home-I have no desire to uproot. There is no navigational pull except here.
I figure as long as I keep my ass covered and my nose semi-clean, my nursing position remains pretty golden. Time will tell if this is true, time will also be a factor in management, and other individuals who, according to my view point need to "leave". Simply need to put my time in.
I was asked recently the million dollar question: "Why are you single ?". I find it to be more complex than a simple answer. My social life and interactions with individuals is a miriad of colors, shapes, and sizes. I asked Eric if I had changed over the years. He replied yes. I'm more mature than my age, and am not willing to settle for second best. I'm too picky, and too much of an individual to settle for any less. I don't deal well with bullshit.
Eric made the comment that with Allan, that he didn't see the possibilities, and put alot more into it, than what possibly was required. OF course there are other factors that Allan and I had discussed, which will remain just between us.
I'm reading the book "Into the woods", which retells the tale of two unconditioned hikers taking on the Appaliachian Trail (The AT). The AT is something that I would be interested in tackling, a 2,000 mile hike from Georgia into Maine. The trip mirrors my experience in Europe and mimics the camping experience of the Rad Fae's. The problem comes into getting the minimum of three months off from work to go get lost in the woods.
I'm in deperate need for another one of Kevin's crazy adventures. I'm hoping to pull of a small stint to Athens, GA for a weekend romp. I need to look into that today, among other things of agenda. There is a pile of papers to sort through.
Recently, four different individuals made the comment that there appears something wrong. That I am not my regular punchy energetic self. The concerns are noted, and respected. And when individuals speak frankly about the viewpoint of one-self there is always red-flags that are thrown up in the air. I'm banking on too much swirling on in my head, and too much going on. I may have to concider (which I am) shaving the fat off of the spring pig. Maybe I just need a few days to regroup, and lay in bed.
I meet with my therapist, Karla next week. WHOOT WHOOT! And I'm planning on running up to the cities to spend some quality time with some of the RAD Fae's.
I'm planning with all good intentions of making Yoga tonight, and tomarrow morning. Four hours of yoga with Dawn will help in focusing. Tomarrow I'll take I-35 to the godparents, stoping in Owatonna at the Salvation Army for some retail therapy. This trip will be good. I'm banking on it. ANd if not-cest la vie.