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thirteenrocksLast week, at this present time, I was preparing to fly out to Washington D.C. A week has passed. Its now history. During the course of the past seven days, I've had mixed emotions, a plethora of thoughts running through my mind, frank discussions with friends (on all subjects), and a multitude of file under misc. events. Within this week, I've attempted to grasp a hold of some type of meaning, more so conclusion. As a friend stated in her e-mail, "SO NOW WHAT?" There have been external factors at play, theories, intellectual conversations within myself, more turmoil. Ya get the picture.
One of the contestants in the Miss Gay Rochester Pageant 2001 was asked on stage "What is more important the journey or the destination?". The poorly dressed drag queen, with splattered on makeup-whore-red lipstick stated the destination. Wrong.
Its the journey. Its the process, its those moments that define us-of who we are, not only the struggle, not only the achievements, its the way we choose to get from point A to B, and what we learn on this journey. For the destination. The END destination is Death. That's it folks. Death. A pine box. Religious theories and science fiction fantasy aside, the human race is born onto this earth, and for whatever purpose, will die on this earth. Everything is up for grabs.
A common phrase spoken to me from co-workers is: "you know everyone, don't you". Everyone is such a large term; more people than the average person, yes. To send out Christmas Cards to all acquaintances I've known, who are "still among the land of the living", would wipe out a hallmark store of its inventory. I mention this as one of the struggles this week has been my parents. They brought me into this world, and I have been grateful (although at times I may have seemed not like it), and yet I find them to be more of a hindrance in recent times than of help, yet maybe they just don't know who I really am... the concept, and being without a legal "spouse"-maybe they are over protective. My point: when we die-we die alone, on our own accord. Humans enter the world alone, and die alone. Each of us has to make our own decisions. Not only that, but this destination, this death, ya cant take anyone or anything with you. Its just your-mind. No clothing, no checkbook, no prized antique, favorite flower...dust.
Santiago, In Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, takes a risk. Believing in nothing more than a hunch that there is "gold" buried underneath the pyramids, he sells his only source of income (his sheep), and sets off on foot for a thousand plus journey to full-fill this obligation. During the course of his traveling, his adventure, his life, he encounters many hurdles (obstacles if you will), and finds the true meaning in his "hunch".
How many humans are willing to take the RISK of changing the course of his or her life, drastically, knowing once the choice has been made, there could be reprocuscions of his or her actions? Let me simplify, how many people are willing to jump out of a plane without a parachute? Not many. But many have, and don't realize it. He got married, to discover he was gay, and left the gingerbread ideal lifestyle for a one bedroom apartment/telemarketer desk job. She MADE the CHOICE to leave the marriage, scratch the 250,000 dollar house plans, for a condo. A 17 year relationship, and parted ways. She couldn't handle her depression and stuck her head in the oven. He took the blame for killing the childhood beauty queen, when he never laid a hand on her. The list goes on....
No matter how difficult, poor, stressful, whatever adjective you use, there is always someone either better off, or worst off than yourself. The secret, the KEY, the comfort, I find is that-regardless, I AM ALIVE. My brain works, My heart beats. I'm alive. Period. I could be living in a cardboard box on broadway in NYC, but I'd still be alive.
*ahem*. For once I find myself into uncharted territory. The signs are loud and clear, any choice is going to be a risk, I'm willing to take. No matter what the outcome, I'll take comfort that which does not kill us-makes us stronger...
So thank you Allan, for your email, for bringing renewed joy into my life day after day... I much looking forward to continuing this journey with you.....
One of the contestants in the Miss Gay Rochester Pageant 2001 was asked on stage "What is more important the journey or the destination?". The poorly dressed drag queen, with splattered on makeup-whore-red lipstick stated the destination. Wrong.
Its the journey. Its the process, its those moments that define us-of who we are, not only the struggle, not only the achievements, its the way we choose to get from point A to B, and what we learn on this journey. For the destination. The END destination is Death. That's it folks. Death. A pine box. Religious theories and science fiction fantasy aside, the human race is born onto this earth, and for whatever purpose, will die on this earth. Everything is up for grabs.
A common phrase spoken to me from co-workers is: "you know everyone, don't you". Everyone is such a large term; more people than the average person, yes. To send out Christmas Cards to all acquaintances I've known, who are "still among the land of the living", would wipe out a hallmark store of its inventory. I mention this as one of the struggles this week has been my parents. They brought me into this world, and I have been grateful (although at times I may have seemed not like it), and yet I find them to be more of a hindrance in recent times than of help, yet maybe they just don't know who I really am... the concept, and being without a legal "spouse"-maybe they are over protective. My point: when we die-we die alone, on our own accord. Humans enter the world alone, and die alone. Each of us has to make our own decisions. Not only that, but this destination, this death, ya cant take anyone or anything with you. Its just your-mind. No clothing, no checkbook, no prized antique, favorite flower...dust.
Santiago, In Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, takes a risk. Believing in nothing more than a hunch that there is "gold" buried underneath the pyramids, he sells his only source of income (his sheep), and sets off on foot for a thousand plus journey to full-fill this obligation. During the course of his traveling, his adventure, his life, he encounters many hurdles (obstacles if you will), and finds the true meaning in his "hunch".
How many humans are willing to take the RISK of changing the course of his or her life, drastically, knowing once the choice has been made, there could be reprocuscions of his or her actions? Let me simplify, how many people are willing to jump out of a plane without a parachute? Not many. But many have, and don't realize it. He got married, to discover he was gay, and left the gingerbread ideal lifestyle for a one bedroom apartment/telemarketer desk job. She MADE the CHOICE to leave the marriage, scratch the 250,000 dollar house plans, for a condo. A 17 year relationship, and parted ways. She couldn't handle her depression and stuck her head in the oven. He took the blame for killing the childhood beauty queen, when he never laid a hand on her. The list goes on....
No matter how difficult, poor, stressful, whatever adjective you use, there is always someone either better off, or worst off than yourself. The secret, the KEY, the comfort, I find is that-regardless, I AM ALIVE. My brain works, My heart beats. I'm alive. Period. I could be living in a cardboard box on broadway in NYC, but I'd still be alive.
*ahem*. For once I find myself into uncharted territory. The signs are loud and clear, any choice is going to be a risk, I'm willing to take. No matter what the outcome, I'll take comfort that which does not kill us-makes us stronger...
So thank you Allan, for your email, for bringing renewed joy into my life day after day... I much looking forward to continuing this journey with you.....