Real Estate Woes

Something is going on. I just can put any English word to it.

Maybe its shitty fantasy pipe dreams-in the end everyone lives happy ever after. Yet kibbitsing with a fellow co-worker, exhumed the thoughts I put back in my head.

We are not dating. Unless worlds collide, he's gone as of November-half a world away. I don't feel the need to look any father, to date anyone else, to see anyone else, to be with anyone else. I can. I have every right, but it isn't the correct path to take. And how part of me wishes he would of said: COME-Come with me, and the other part was so relieved I wasn't put in that position for knowing someone just a short period of time.

Obviously there is more on each other minds that what we share with each other. Our moves are calculated and well thought out. Not that we have these brick walls around ourselves, for our true colors have shown through...yet we are being safe. I'm in no position to drop everything and be with him 24/7. Yet hes been a tremendous light these past few months. I agree, he's far from being a player as Babs becomeing a neo-nazi skin-head (papa can you hear me? Papa can you see me?), yet there is alot of incidences that don't mesh: why didnt' he bring flowers to the house for dinner, where is the romance? Is it in the conversation, of sharing oneself, is that the gift... I don't know.


I heard from Jim today.

Reading through the Lyrics of R.E.M.'s song "half-a world away" they just fit. Together. Puzzle pieces.

This storm it came up strong
It shook the trees
And blew away our fear
I couldn't even hear

This could be the saddest dusk
I've ever seen. Turn to a miracle
High alive. My mind is racing
As it always will
My hand is tired my heart aches
from half-aworld away..