![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The state of the union
6 July 2005 03:01Nothing like a few good movies, some time alone, and a great dinner with a great friend to put things into perspective.
He called AGAIN tonight. Go figure.
I still don't know how I truely feel about things. I got my myself in quite a fine mess, and I never entended to hurt anyone in the process. I do feel he is playing mind games with me. In fact I put money on it, that it is all a mind game.. a game I am not going to win or loose, because I don't want to play.
With that being said, Each person makes choices in his or her life. Some good, some bad, some in an ambigous area. Whatver that is, whatever that choice or decision was, one has to live with it. If tomarrow, I found out that I lost my RN job, my house burned, and all my friends walked out, if tradegy struck in any type of form, I know only one thing that is true, only one: That I am still here. That I continue to breathe, my heart continues to pump blood through my body-no matter how damaged it may be.
Its funny how much the past can really shape a person. How much little things that have happened years ago, happened in high school, teachers, events, events that have happened with family, within ourselves that have such a profound impact on who we are today.....
And if that didn't make sense, or if I am dodging around with grey area, and code, so be it. Deep down I may have feelings for him, but oil and water never did mix well, it never did.
He called AGAIN tonight. Go figure.
I still don't know how I truely feel about things. I got my myself in quite a fine mess, and I never entended to hurt anyone in the process. I do feel he is playing mind games with me. In fact I put money on it, that it is all a mind game.. a game I am not going to win or loose, because I don't want to play.
With that being said, Each person makes choices in his or her life. Some good, some bad, some in an ambigous area. Whatver that is, whatever that choice or decision was, one has to live with it. If tomarrow, I found out that I lost my RN job, my house burned, and all my friends walked out, if tradegy struck in any type of form, I know only one thing that is true, only one: That I am still here. That I continue to breathe, my heart continues to pump blood through my body-no matter how damaged it may be.
Its funny how much the past can really shape a person. How much little things that have happened years ago, happened in high school, teachers, events, events that have happened with family, within ourselves that have such a profound impact on who we are today.....
And if that didn't make sense, or if I am dodging around with grey area, and code, so be it. Deep down I may have feelings for him, but oil and water never did mix well, it never did.
