Catcher in the Rye

I told myself, I wasn't going to do another update. For starters, I was so anxious, crabby, and pissed off at the world, that all I wanted to write is a big "MOTHER FUCK". Of course that solves nothing.

Sometimes its best not to even wake up in the morning, laying there, stoic, motionless, quite, unaware of what's going around in ones suroundings, is the better of the options. And yet, when we least expect it and unaware of what exactly is materilizing, WHAM, ones past mixed with fate, slaps one back down a few rings of the ladder. I thought I had gotten over some aspects of my life, and maybe its because i'm on the verge of exaustion, apparently not.

In my search of missing classmates of the Platteville High School class of 1995, I got to think of people I had known at Viterbo, one thing led to another, and WHAM, a list of old theater students I once called friends, confided in, who supported me. Faces in black and white, looking at me. The power of the internet. Digging deeper, I uncovered a blog (must be the thing to do these days), of an old roomate. Needless to say, it started the waterworks.....

Its so hard regretting what I did, how I left, and leaving frienships stranded in the remote chance they'd pick up again, continue.....resume of once was, and now can't be. I feel like I am holding on to strings made out of clouds, and I am falling fast..

Its moments like these, were one is surrounded by people, and feel utterly alone....

"Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.":