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26 January 2005 07:01anyone know how I can change user photos at will>
26 January 2005
Frustrated
26 January 2005 22:37My biggest friend is myself.
My biggest ennemy is myself.
I'm frustrated, with the rules and expectations I contrive in this mind of mine, and not owing up to them, when it comes to face the music.
My nursing skills are lacking. I used to be right on the ball, and now I don't even come close. My shortcuts used to be used in a pinch, are daily, and I'm afraid I'm haning on a thread.
I've had to dive into my "stash" of funds, that my mother gave me when I bought the house. Although I can swing it for a few more months, if I don't start watching my pennies, I'll be up shit creek without a paddle.
My sister is comming this weekend. The guest bedroom isn't close to being done. There is black soot (from the spraypaint) over everything. She expects the house to be clean, and I am not sure if that is going to happen. She will complain that I smoke in the house. With my family, I feel that I don't live up to there expectations. That I have become a failure. That they don't understand where I come from, what I deal with, what I think, and how I feel about situations. They don't understand my motivation.
My last heating bill was 300.00. I had made $ on ebay, but because of bad shipment, or whatever, I had to refund 200.00 of that. THere went my heating bill.
I'm trying to hold myself above water, tred enough untill I see a shore in the distance. There is none in sight.
I'm sinking. Slowly.
I'll get through this. Life continues, and so will this one. Its just a BITCH when your in a rut, and lack motivation to get through it.
...."and god sometimes, you just don't come through"
My biggest ennemy is myself.
I'm frustrated, with the rules and expectations I contrive in this mind of mine, and not owing up to them, when it comes to face the music.
My nursing skills are lacking. I used to be right on the ball, and now I don't even come close. My shortcuts used to be used in a pinch, are daily, and I'm afraid I'm haning on a thread.
I've had to dive into my "stash" of funds, that my mother gave me when I bought the house. Although I can swing it for a few more months, if I don't start watching my pennies, I'll be up shit creek without a paddle.
My sister is comming this weekend. The guest bedroom isn't close to being done. There is black soot (from the spraypaint) over everything. She expects the house to be clean, and I am not sure if that is going to happen. She will complain that I smoke in the house. With my family, I feel that I don't live up to there expectations. That I have become a failure. That they don't understand where I come from, what I deal with, what I think, and how I feel about situations. They don't understand my motivation.
My last heating bill was 300.00. I had made $ on ebay, but because of bad shipment, or whatever, I had to refund 200.00 of that. THere went my heating bill.
I'm trying to hold myself above water, tred enough untill I see a shore in the distance. There is none in sight.
I'm sinking. Slowly.
I'll get through this. Life continues, and so will this one. Its just a BITCH when your in a rut, and lack motivation to get through it.
...."and god sometimes, you just don't come through"
