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Directions
27 January 2003 04:58I make bad choices. Bad decisions, especially when I've had a few, and in reality, I shouldn't even be drinking being on the Zoloft, and the fact that I didn't eat anything yesterday didn't help matters, but of course my self-defense mechnisms are fighting at full speed. It was completely wrong to sleep with Brian. Very wrong. I did it though, oh did I do it.
One thing I regret is not being close with my folks. I don't really tell them much, of anything, what I am plotting. Maybe it is rooted from hiding my sexuality from them all this time. Maybe it's just yet another defense mechinsim. They don't know I'm plotting to go abroad in March despite the political situation, or do they know anything about UW-La Crosse. At first I feel that I need their permission, and then at times, I feel that it is my life, and I am the world leader pretend.
It's been a fantasy of mine to have my own art opening with costumes that I have designed, slaved over and created. I feel that I do ok work. It works for me. That's all i have to say.
It's also been a fantasy of mine to do "the night larry kramer kissed me" by david drake. It's an amazing play, and I would love to do it. Somewhat of a dream of mine... maybe this is my chance.
E-mailed John a huge plethora of thougths. IT was about 5-10 e-mails, and now, now we wait for his response if any....
It's hard.. when you in a stand still to find directions out...
One thing I regret is not being close with my folks. I don't really tell them much, of anything, what I am plotting. Maybe it is rooted from hiding my sexuality from them all this time. Maybe it's just yet another defense mechinsim. They don't know I'm plotting to go abroad in March despite the political situation, or do they know anything about UW-La Crosse. At first I feel that I need their permission, and then at times, I feel that it is my life, and I am the world leader pretend.
It's been a fantasy of mine to have my own art opening with costumes that I have designed, slaved over and created. I feel that I do ok work. It works for me. That's all i have to say.
It's also been a fantasy of mine to do "the night larry kramer kissed me" by david drake. It's an amazing play, and I would love to do it. Somewhat of a dream of mine... maybe this is my chance.
E-mailed John a huge plethora of thougths. IT was about 5-10 e-mails, and now, now we wait for his response if any....
It's hard.. when you in a stand still to find directions out...
